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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27718133">I will crumble</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyo1/pseuds/kyo1'>kyo1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depressed Peter Parker, Depression, Graphic, Hurt Peter Parker, LMAO, Open Ending, Other, Pain, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker - Freeform, Peter Parker Deserves Better, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Sad Peter Parker, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal thoughts and actions, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, cus i’m terrible at endings lmao, sad fic, so be careful, tony stark - Freeform, tw, vent fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:15:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27718133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyo1/pseuds/kyo1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter always hides. Hides himself from everyone because people never truly see. </p>
<p>What happens if they do ?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; May Parker, Peter Parker &amp; Pepper Potts, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I will crumble</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW for Suicide Attempts and it’s graphic !!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sometimes people don’t see. They see but don’t <em>see</em>. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They see the surface. Just like deep waters, you see the blue surface that’s glistening because of the rays of the hot sun. But you can’t see what’s below the surface of the water. You can’t see the miles of sand, you can’t see the fish that linger, swimming and swimming. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So you don’t truly <em>see</em>. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It happens with people too. You see their eyes, and their skin, you see their lips, you see their cheeks. You see, of course you do, but you don’t <em>look</em>. You don’t look on what’s hiding beneath the miles and miles of skin, you don’t see what hides behind irises you don’t see behind that smile, and you don’t see what cowers behind their skull. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fish hide in corals, hiding or running away from something. Wether that be looking for food, or hiding from predators. They go deep down and hide, maybe not intentionally, but they do.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s how Peter is. He’s like a fish. Hiding behind his body. Hiding from predators, thoughts, actions... etc. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So when you look at Peter, you see, but you don’t <em>see</em>. You see rosy and plump cheeks, soft lips with a hint of pink, honey colored eyes, a beaming smile. You see. But don’t <em>see</em>. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You don’t see all the pain that’s weighing his shoulders down and forcing them to crash into the ground. You don’t see the shackles tied to his ankles like a prisoner. You don’t see cracked lips and bleeding gums. You don’t see it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He uses it to his advantage of course. He hides behind all his physique to convince you he’s okay. To convince you that he’s not one step away from slashing off his wings. To let you believe he’s not crumbling apart from the seams. To let you know he’s not bleeding from the inside, trying to hold everything together. To make you believe...he’s not dying. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But sometimes, some days, Peter gets tired. <em>Too</em> tired. Too tired to pretend. And too tired to hide.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he’s exposed. He’s a dead fish that’s floating on the surface, being burned by the scorching sun. He’s being seen. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then the lingering looks, longer hugs and reassuring smiles reaches his eyes and he knows people know. Of course they don’t know everything because they wouldn’t dare to swim to the bottom of his skin, but they somehow know about the pressure on his shoulder, and weights on his ankles and the bleeding inside of him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But then, he <em>sees</em> the looks on people’s faces. Looks that shouldn’t be there. So he lifts his shoulder and tightens his smile. He hides once again. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But there’s only so much hiding one can do before they reach the last spot. There’s only so much weight a person can handle. What was once the weight of Queens, became the weight of New York, which lastly became the weight of the world. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has to keep rolling his shoulders and set them in place because god forbid he fails. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And sometimes he feels like Atlas. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s holding up everything just so nothing, and no one could fall. So everyone can breathe. He holds the weight of the world on his hands while he keeps bleeding out. He has to keep going. He knows that. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hides. He holds. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hides. He holds. He-</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hides. He holds. He cr-</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hides. He holds. He crum-</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hides. He holds. He crumbl-</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hides. He holds. He crumbles. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He fails. He gives up. He lets the weight crush him, the concrete swallows his screams. He falls deep down, back hitting the sand. He floats up. And he’s seen. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He brings the razor to his wrist and breathes. He bleeds out, and for the first time, it’s not internally. His jumbled thoughts, fake smiles and strong shoulders come pouring out of the wound. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He falls. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They rush him to the hospital. Tony is running with a bleeding Peter in his arms. The nurses pull Peter out of Tony’s grip and lay him on a gurney. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This time everyone finally truly <em>sees</em>. Under the fluorescent lights, they can see all the pain Peter has been hiding. All the blood he’s been bleeding. All the fake smiles he’s been wearing. And then they know. They finally truly know. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wanted to say i appreciate sooo soo much all the supportive comments i got in my last fic. I’m sorry i worried some of you guys as it wasn’t my intention. Ig that night was a little harder than usual, but i’m still here. Sadly we had to reschedule my therapy appointment, but yk, as long as i can go right ? Anyways, i hope you’re all doing well, you matter and you’re loved. If any of you guys want to talk, my discord is bee_.#5883 . I love you all so so much !!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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